Death and Family

My sister lost her son 10 months ago tomorrow (Feb 24, 2008).

The state of things as they are now:

My sister and her husband continue in their religious fervor.

My mother is a bit distressed about everyone. She is definitely in 'worried' mode about my sister.

My dad as usual is just trying to help everyone out.

My brother, I'm not sure where he's at in this whole mess.

Me, well...I have declared my unbelief in God to everyone except my mom, she doesn't need to worry about me as well as everyone else. I really don't want to even be here in KC anymore. I just want to get away from everyone because there is nothing I can really do to help. I just stand around at family gatherings and watch...then leave. I hate it. There is nothing to do...but do nothing. So I try to avoid as much contact as possible, still playing softball...and save up for possibly moving away to Chicago to be around Caleb again. We'll see if that works out or not.

My dad offered some advice from when his sister lost her son back in the early 90's, but their relationship is not severed by religion like mine with my family. Most of my family goes to church, hangs out with church people and they all do church stuff. I dont take part in it so I really don't "fit in". I'd rather go out, have some drinks and get stupid than go to family crap, it's miserable now. Everyone puts on their face and walks on eggshells around my sister and her family, and I know she can tell but what else is there to do?