Hanging On

It's been twelve days since my nephew passed away, and all I can do right now is just trudge through each day, keeping my head up and staving off the depression and the loneliness. I look to God for support but there is a reason why there are people on this earth, we need the embrace of those we love in times like these, but I know that right now I have to just walk straight and strong as my sister is still needing us to be strong for her.

I find solace in my music once again. Hearing the words sang that I want spoken to me.

Cat Powers -
"You better come, come come, come come to me. You better run, run run, run run to me."

Open, Parachute -
"As we climbed out of our sunny valley, we couldn't help but notice that it was gray"

Copeland -
"There's an angel by your hospital bed, desperate to hear his name on your breath. As he looks down, you're not making a sound. Open your eyes, look at me. I'll pray to you whatever you need. And I'll tell you I'm sorry, that I can't take this pain away from you and put it on my own heart. Can't you see? I've got to bust you out of here somehow. I've never seen your heart this tired, never seen your spirit held down. I know you say this is what you get for being the bad child. But I know this will be your reward in just a little while. It's testing the strong ones, it's scarring the beautiful ones, it's holding your loved ones, one last time."

It hurts and helps at the same time....

Perspective

and little ever changes when you view it from the sky
and the damage we encounter the earth just passes by
and little ever changes if anything at all
and we remind ourselves how small we are

Rainy Days

it's just those rainy days.
spend your lifetime trying to wash away.
'til the sun shines and i see your face, just smile for me, smile at me.